Monday, July 11, 2011
But as it is, I am being punished for what I do not know.
Why was I given to be seated beside a woman who knows more words than I? Who does not understand the solace that I seek. I tried all manner of device to put her voice out of my mind – without success, I endured the endless chatter as she discussed all issues of her life with the companion, she thought to bring for such a trip, as I am sure they planned. For the first half hour, I listened as an observer to them without stop. The daily lives of these women were of little interest as I had planned to work on a story during my time. I had scheduled weeks in advance this trip with every intention of putting some ideas to paper while watching the countryside pass.
How many hours must I continue this tort of my desire for silence? I think it should not be so long because these women must eventually quit the words. They can not possibly have too many more stories of work, boys, and shopping adventures to keep up this dialogue.
We have stopped in Thurles to gather more patrons. At last, silence. I open my notes and begin to think of which scene to work first. The daughter betrayal of the father’s death before his captors? I know this story and have thought of the tension between a daughter who is in love with an ideological precept of faith for country and her religion and a father who is torn to betray his own beliefs to achieve the freedom of a foreign government.
The minutes pass quickly and our train departs without silence as these two women resume their chatted discourse. I close my notes and sit back to begin another leg of this dogged journey. There was no keeping pretence of my displeasure with the women. I scrapped cloth from a napkin and stuff the roiled tissue into my ears. But this is of no help as I can not escape their conversations.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
The Marriage of Mole
For some years before his marriage the mold of solitude had invaded his life as none, nor manner of species had imagined, and he was neither content nor displeasured by the turn of events. There were just moments of solitude where he became remorse, but not angry with his situation. A few times during each week he cried, as a child without the quilt of an adult, but these moments were of not panged or anguish; not such that he released the pains that buried deeply in his heart.
The days of his lonely existence began with a modest breakfast a slice of toast, one fried egg, and a sliver of ham that he purchased each Sunday morning. There were not special moments that he shared with anyone. He sat with his back against the wall and stared at nothing in particular. The morning came as it should and so he gathered himself and cleaned the few dishes before returning to his bedroom for a shower. He paused long enough in the parlour to watch the people pass in front of his apartment.
Today he would meet Svetlana, as he promised, and muster the courage to ask her what he had so wanted for many months. He would propose a question, in hopes that she would be so inclined to consider his request. This was his chance to learn if her affections were true, and if she would become his wife.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Don't know exactly when it will be done, as I need several trips about Ireland to get the inspiration for all the characters and locations.
I wrote a couple new stories: The Tort of Silence was one that I hope to complete soon. I also went back to work on Hannigan's Meadow and hope to have some more chapters completed within the next month or so.
I think love is empty without trust, fidelity, and honesty. What is life with someone you can't trust? I wish that this time with Natasha gives me more insights into my desire to complete another novel, work on the next few, and put more effort into my short stories.
I am almost ready to begin submitting several of my short stories for publication.
Wish me luck!!!
Monday, August 25, 2008
Now the rain pelted our house again and again as it had not so much for an hour before. This torrid hatred of our little cottage had turned a night of pleasant company into a night of dread for the next clash of gods.
As it were, myself; and a remainder of my friends sheltered ourselves in the den. We were protected from the anger that came upon us tonight.
And what stopped as it began? The noise fell away. We heard nothing for a ten minute or twenty passing. The thundered of clashing giants was gone in just a manner that we felt beholden.
There was still a dinner to serve if the food would heat properly now that we had no fire in the stove. But we heard a foot the neighbour woman.
She was a fine mess alright. Harden lot she was and not a day over thirty, as I was told. Now her banging on the door alarmed me and my friend. We set about opening the entry for her. But not without a little fear, no less. She was known about as a strange woman. A something about the village that no one cared to explain for fear of her.
We stood, both, at the entrance to welcome her "Hello Natasha. What brings you out on such a terrible night?" Almost in echo, I think not.
She hand her basket of meats to my friend "I desired company. It's not a night for me, I'll say that. So move aside and let me in."
We broke ranks and handed her leave. My friend, Josh, had another spell and fell.
"Let him lay, he's a lucky man. We's a a bit busy now, so hurry man. There's a break in the storm. You don't want to have me caught in that business, eh?"
"Where am I this time?"
The light shining inside my head confused me.
I was not at home in bed. I was not sleeping with my wife. But I wasn't about to let the voices tell me this time was real.
I had a five dollar bill in my left hand.
"What?" Someone stuffed money in my hand?
Why would they do that?
I pushed myself up. The fat man snored, loud, and scratched himself. He had a pocket full of pink money inside his pants. Why did a fat man need pink money? I wasn't asking. He wasn't going to speak for a little longer anyway, so I kicked him for making me buy another night of pitiful pleasures.
What is this? My pocket? I didn't have any pockets when I went to sleep last night. Now I have one. I have something poking me, and it's sharp. I have a knife? What else is in my pocket that I don't have? Is this an olive branch?
What am I doing with and olive branch and a knife? My pocket and a fat man that I have never had or seen now intrigue me.
I dig into my pink pocket and pull out my wife, a bed, and a shower.
Of course, I did. When I woke up in the jail of my dream, made for me again, I knew that no color or object was going to take away from me the truth that lay beside me.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
I retrieved this essay for discussion because of the previous thread "Can I make a living writing" and I had another chat with a writer today who inspired my remembrance;
My god, I've had a few discussions over the months with writers who are destitute and living in shelters or sharing living arrangements with other people.
I’m sickened by this…
I’ve heard such stories for many years. I closed my ears because I wasn’t one of them.
I wasn’t sickly or poor. I paid no attention to their plight. Why should I? I am of sound financial status, beget a few times when I struggled to find suitable work, but I have a means to support myself. I don’t suffer such angst for this profession that I’d live in a homeless shelter until my work sells. I don’t folly about with a dream of hitting it big as a writer. But such people do, as I now know, and I am ashamed at my cavalier attitude about this preoccupation for writing.
Such is my pain tonight. I grieve for this poor fellow who desires so much more from his craft than I. This homeless man, with such courage and conviction, is worthy of more than I can ever hope to offer.
Yet, I can’t help but feel pity for him and I – who has lost much more than either has ever imagined.
So, I weep tonight for us – poor writers who are without home and love. But I also cherish this gentle spirit which as kept my poor friend warm, happy, and content to live as I had not thought possible.
I write, as true, to myself and others that we never forget those whose sacrifice is inspired by a noble thought.
See Emmit didn't sell fresh milk and had a sign at the front of his farm that said "We don't sell fresh milk".
But people kept coming by asking to buy fresh milk. At first Emmit didn't mind so much. He would explain that his farm sold to producers. But people didn't understand what he meant by "producers" and just thought he was being silly.
As the years went by Emmit began to lose his cows to issues. He still tried to keep up the farm even though the "producers" required more milk than he could produce.
And people kept bothering him for fresh milk.
His wife left him for a pig farmer. The kids moved to the city and stopped coming by to help with the farm. His crop of corn was eaten by crows. The country music station changed to rock.
Life wasn't going so good for Emmit.
So one day, Emmit snapped. He had enough and shot some poor fool who was stupid enough to as "Do you have any fresh milk?"
Now this story goes on a bit about Emmit hiding the bodies and such. But my question is "Can the dairy of a madman" be considered a memoir?
Yes! I am about to embark on the conclusion of this story that I began a fortnight and forty ago. Soon, my work on this tale will finish and nobody can stop me now. So we all have stories to complete, while fugitives from the demons of our own making, and exorcise excuses to finish them. I think so.
But the broken wheel that keeps us from finishing the race is a crutch, I believe. I will not allow the trespassers on my goal to finish this story and keep me from telling what I know. I am going to write whether or not it snows tonight.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
And so that's how I ended my last chapter because it was a logical break between scenes.
Remember to leave the reader wanting more. So the next chapter should either be an opening for what we want to learn or a continuation of a previous scene that was left hanging, But they all need to tie together so don't hold up the story for suspense if it's not going to move the plot along.