Sunday, November 20, 2005

A Lawyer's Guide to Simplify Divorce (Funny)

Title: A Lawyer's Guide to Simplify Divorce.

Abstract: This guide is intended for those lawyers’s who practice in the field of Family Law and specialize in Divorce. As an important part of the American Judicial system the practice of Divorce Law is fraught with greed, suspicion, anxiety, anger and apprehension among attorneys. In order to make the process more attorney friendly this book offers many valuable tips and insights on how to obtain unlimited success without the usual drawbacks associated with an unsuccessful case.

Chapter Outlines:

Chapter 1: Your Competition is Your Friend

A “how-to” become better acquainted with the opposing lawyer and how this will greatly increase your chances for success. Never assume that the opposing lawyer is the enemy. Most of the time they are available after hours to discuss the difficult issues facing many divorce lawyers. Become friends with them and learn how to work together to keep each other happy. Remember, it is important to work together to become successful.

Chapter 2: The Personal Touch

Five simple steps necessary to make your client more agreeable to your suggestions and reduce their general reluctance to accept what is best for them. The once simple cost of a divorce is a thing of the past. It is not uncommon for lawyers today to spend much more time with their client than they once did. Given the adverse affect an unsuccessful divorce often has on lawyers the quality time you spend with your clients with benefit them by reducing their reluctance to continue in the face of insurmountable odds.

Chapter 3: The “Can Do!” Attitude

Maintain a professional attitude so that your client will respect the decisions you make in the event they have to settle for less. Many clients will respect your decisions if you do not appear friendly or show concern for their wishes so long as they think you will “take it the distance!”. The lawyer should always present a positive attitude and assure their client of their overwhelming potential for a successful settlement.

The difference between a successful lawyer and not is their ability to ask for more than is possible in a divorce. Remember, “Never Settle For Less!”

Chapter 4: Motionless Motions

Six motions that are necessary to keep the client happy. The motion is a great tool to improve your client’s involvement in the divorce. The continuation motion is the most often misunderstood of all filings with the court. A simple delay in a pretrial event is a very useful tool to establish credibility with your client and give you more time to prepare.

Chapter 5: Children, a Must!

Children of divorced couples are often the easiest way to increase the complexity and time required to complete the divorce. If there are children it is important to remember their names. If there are no children then find some. Suggest a paternity test of close family members and friends with children. There are many opportunities to increase the chances of an early victory if either side has children from other partners during the marriage. Share whatever you discover with others so that they become more involved and offer additional sources of potential offsprings.

Chapter 6: Assets to Success

Quickly identify what is disposable and what can be used later to pay any outstanding debts. Prepare a detailed list of all charges that the client can expect. A good rule of thumb is to include any miscellaneous office items that pertain to the divorce, such as; paper clips, pencils, heating and cooling, and tissues. By showing your client what to expect up front, they often to agree on additional services that are available through other lawyers.

Chapter 7: The Flexible Court Dates

Prepare a calendar of dates that conflict with existing schedules. This helps to establish early in the divorce who is more flexible. Often it is necessary to schedule two dates at the same time to allow yourself a choice of which client to represent on any given date.

Chapter 8: No Settle, Settlement Conferences

Schedule several settlement conferences to make sure enough time is given to settle any disputes. This process allows the lawyer to spread the work out over many months instead of a few short weeks. Each revision should be carefully constructed to allow the opposing attorney an opportunity to make changes. Given the time and expense of Settlement Conferences it is often necessary to set a time when you and the opposing lawyer are not as busy. Many clients will adjust their schedules to meet at difficult times if you are willing to give them limited choices.

Chapter 9: Trials and Tribulations

Easy witnesses. Most lawyers miss the most important part of any successful trial by forgetting to call enough witnesses. Friends and family are usually the first on the list. Yet, it is the experts in any field, clergy of different domination’s, public servants and community leaders who are often the most overlooked resources. These individuals are an important part of any trial and should be thought of as assets to success.

Chapter 10: The Divorced Again Client

A quick divorce is not always necessary, but if it happens remember to keep in contact with your client in case they remarry. Many divorced couples often use the same lawyer in subsequent divorces and it is useful to keep a current client list for future uses. Mailing lists and Christmas cards are two of the easiest methods of keeping in contact and are useful tools to generate future revenue. Don’t forget that there are two sides to every divorce, so don’t leave the other party off your list.

1 comment:

The Late Mitchell Warren said...

Ah, I know who you are. I think I met you in Texas one day. Funny stuff you got here.